


got a collar full of chemistry from your company

by clicheanna



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Chemistry, Crack, Fluff, M/M, Not much tho, Protons, bad puns and chemistry jokes, can you believe this is the first thing ive finished in more than a year, it really is crack despite the, it's a bismuth atom, they're protons in the nucleus of an atom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-27 22:32:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6302773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clicheanna/pseuds/clicheanna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Louis are protons, and <em>opposites attract</em> has never been more heartbreaking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	got a collar full of chemistry from your company

**Author's Note:**

> this is 100% totally serious i swear i love writing about chemistry
> 
> based on [this](http://since-he-was-eighteen.tumblr.com/post/140981091886) prompt!! i also posted this on my tumblr, which you can find [here](http://liltinylouis.tumblr.com/post/140993864727/since-he-was-eighteen-angst-au-where-louis-and). 
> 
> title from collar full by panic! at the disco which is an amazing song and you shouldn't just listen to it b/c it has "chemistry" in it.

Most would say being a proton was fun.

All of Harry’s friends believed it. There wasn’t much work that needed to be done, not like the electrons who were always orbiting and deciding how many need to move to balance with another element. Protons just floated around inside the nucleus. Plus, they represented the atomic number to humans, which was pretty cool, even to Harry.

The neutrons had no representation, and the humans had to do _math_ , or something, to find their number. Also, they were negative, and nobody likes a negative—being bound with them all day long was just mentally exhausting—so protons were just considered the best nucleon.

Harry didn’t believe it, though. He’d give anything to be a neutron.

There was one special proton in this nucleus. His name was Louis. Harry had never bothered to learn all the proton’s names, considering there were _83_ of them, and 126 more neutrons, but Louis’ name had never left Harry’s mind.

He was, to Harry, the most beautiful proton in the nucleus, maybe _all_ nuclei, even the ones that didn’t exist, yet. He was a gorgeous blue color, what Harry imagined the sea might look like when light would hit it, that matched well with Harry’s own green.

They could be like the Earth itself if they could ever be bound, full of life and color and happiness.

Louis was full of energy, a constantly vibrating proton who could bring smiles and laughs to anyone around him. He would start up small conversations with the first energy level electrons when they passed by, and he always mentioned how he wished he could get to know the other electrons, too, but they were just too far. He didn’t hate the neutrons, either, and he always spared a minute or two to cheer them up when they felt unwanted by other protons.

He thought they were misunderstood. After listening to Louis’ arguments, how passionate he got about their mistreatment, Harry just had to agree with him.

There never seemed to be a dull moment when they were together. Louis was easily the funniest proton Harry had ever met, and Harry rejoiced at the times he was able to make him laugh in return. He can talk about his family, his friends, how he feels so lost in the mediocre routine of contributing to the mass of an atom, and Louis would always be there to listen.

Louis was the highlight of Harry’s day, the proton that made everything worth it.

Harry kept waiting for the day the strong central force would push them together, and keep them together, forever.

It never did, and it never would.

Harry never used to have a problem with _opposites attract_ , but the realization that _only_ opposites attract was the hardest thing he’d ever had to accept.

***

Harry was floating in front of Louis, the closest he could get without being pushed away.

(It wasn’t close enough. No matter how close Louis was, all Harry wanted to do was to merge their particles together.)

“So the bar tender says, ‘We don’t serve noble gases here,’” Louis said, in the middle of telling one of his jokes. They’re always awful, but Harry would laugh anyway.

Harry waited for Louis to continue, but he didn't. “Well?” Harry said. He was already grinning. _God_ , he felt like an ion, he was so charged up.

Louis just grinned back. “Are you ready, Haz? I don’t think you’re ready.”

“Tell me,” Harry said. He let out a small laugh, unable to help it. “I’m sure I won’t hate you too much.”

“Alright, but I warned you.” Louis took a deep breath—always so dramatic, really—before continuing. “Helium doesn’t react.”

It took a few seconds for Harry to get it, and then he just. Couldn’t stop laughing.

He was so, _so_ endeared by this one proton. Helplessly in love with him.

“You’re right,” Harry said, when he could finally breathe. Louis looked proud, and Harry was all too happy to be responsible for that. “I wasn’t ready.”

Louis was completely beaming now. “I think I’ve lost an electron, because I’m _positive_ that you can’t beat that.”

“Well,” Harry replied. “I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve.”

They had this thing where they tried to come up with the worst jokes to tell each other. Harry had a couple planned out, and he hoped Louis would get that they weren’t just jokes, not to him.

“Do you have eleven protons?” Harry asked. He paused, watching as Louis turned curious. “Because you’re _sodium_ fine.”

Louis’ face twisted in what Harry could tell was a serious effort not to laugh. “I can’t believe you told a joke worse than mine, Harold. Didn’t think it was possible.”

“Are you made of copper?” Harry started. “Because I Cu in a relationship with me.”

“Truly awful,” Louis complained. He was laughing now, but it almost seemed like he was blushing.

“You’ll be Fluorine and I’ll be Francium. Maybe later I can give you an electron.”

Something flashed across Louis’ face, and Harry could have sworn he saw him take a sharp breath, before he was chuckling again. Harry definitely noticed it was a bit more forced.

Well, he had done it now. Nothing he could lose by continuing.

(There was a lot he could lose actually, but he wasn’t going to think about that.)

“Are you a carbon sample?” Harry said. His tone was completely serious now. Maybe Louis could tell. “Because I want to date you.”

Louis didn’t laugh this time. “Harry… you’re not joking.”

It wasn’t really phrased like a question, but Harry shook his head anyway.

Louis didn't say anything for a while, and Harry started to panic. He fucked it up, and he would have to stay with a neutron forever now. And it wasn’t like he would never see Louis. Floating around in the nucleus meant it was pretty easy to see everyone. He wondered what would happen if he left the nucleus and joined the electrons in their orbits. Would that destroy the atom? He didn’t want to be the cause of a nuclear explosion, either.

“You know,” Louis whispered, and Harry could feel himself vibrating, energy rising. “I want that, too.”

Harry felt like he could fling himself across the nucleus, he was so happy, when— “But it… just can’t happen.”

Harry stilled, Louis’ words registering inside his quark. “What?”

Louis’ face fell, like this tore him up as much as it did Harry. It brought some relief to Harry, that Louis felt the same, but it didn’t help much.

“We can’t ever touch, Harry,” Louis said. His voice broke. Harry felt close to tears. “This is as close as we can get. We’re both better off with a neutron.”

“Does it matter?” Harry choked out. “I like just being near you.”

“It matters to me,” Louis said. “And you deserve better than a proton you can’t ever bond with. If we could be closer, than it would be different.”

Harry frowned, determination rushing through his particles. He surged forward, desperate to get any amount closer to Louis, pushing against the field, but it was no use. He was repelled back almost instantly, ending up even further away.

Tears were running down Louis’ cheeks now. “It’s useless, Harry. Don’t waste your energy.”

Harry tried again, pushing and pushing and pushing, and for a moment, one small moment, he thought he moved the tiniest nanometer closer, before he was forced back to his original place.

Louis was still crying. Harry couldn’t take him being sad, but there didn’t seem to be any way to make it better, to console him from this distance. Tears started to fall down Harry’s own face.

“I’m sorry, Harry,” Louis sniffled. “We can’t.”

Louis took off, heading off somewhere in the nucleus. Harry couldn’t find the strength to go after him.

***

Sometime the next day, Harry saw Louis again. He didn’t mean to, and he would have rather just have been alone that day, but he still had proton duties of floating around with the neutrons.

Louis looked just as awful as Harry felt. He didn’t have his usual smile on his face, and he wasn’t full of that usual light. It didn’t make Harry feel any better.

Louis was talking to some neutrons. All Harry wanted to do was be as close as the neutrons were to him.

And then a spark lit in Harry’s quark. Maybe… just maybe…

In a second, Harry was moving, away from his own group of neutrons and over to Louis. Louis looked up, confusion clouding his face at the sight of Harry rushing over. His mouth opened, maybe to tell Harry not to try this again, when Harry felt himself being pulled forward.

The neutron Harry was being attracted to—Harry thought his name was Liam— looked just as confused. Harry couldn’t have felt any more elated though, when he realized he was right in front of Louis.

Louis’ mouth was still open, but Harry knew he was just surprised.

 _This is really working_ , Harry thought. He smiled, maybe wider than he ever had before, at Louis. Louis started to smile back, laughing to himself.

The other neutron Louis had been with, Niall, was looking between the three of them. Niall was one neutron Harry spoke with occasionally, and he always suspected he knew his feelings for Louis. It didn’t shock him when Niall started to laugh, too, clearly understanding.

“Hey, Liam,” Harry said. The neutron looked over at him, puzzled. “Is it alright if you move closer to Louis?”

Louis’ smile grew. Liam turned to him, and Louis nodded his consent.

Liam started to move forward, and now Louis was pulled towards Liam and Harry. Harry took his chance, when he was only nanometers from Louis, to push himself forward.

All Harry could see was blue.

It took a few moments for his vision to clear, and he knew.

He knew, that against all odds, he was closer to Louis than he ever thought he would be. And he knew, that against all these forces, Harry and Louis were touching, were _bonded._

Harry twisted around, only to see Louis’ bright face smiling at him.

“You really did it,” Louis said.

“I did,” Harry replied. His next words just left him unexpectedly, but he meant it completely.

“I love you.”

Louis didn’t hesitate to respond. “I love you too.”

They weren’t repelled, the atom didn’t explode, Niall and Liam were still by their sides, watching fondly.

Scientists couldn’t ever figure out the reasoning behind Bismuth’s two bonded protons. One said, “Well, it’s only fitting the rainbow element has some gay ass protons.”

His partner didn’t reply, and just glared in his direction.

It was decided to put it in the textbooks as an exception.

**Author's Note:**

> :)
> 
> my tumblr is [here](http://liltinylouis.tumblr.com) if you want to follow!!


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